


Carol of the Bells

by thegoldenkittenking (empty_cup_and_a_chipped_heart)



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, angsty fluff, holiday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 10:26:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13144713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/empty_cup_and_a_chipped_heart/pseuds/thegoldenkittenking
Summary: Carol comes to a surprising realization during the holiday season.





	Carol of the Bells

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: More angsty fluff, which is-- apparently-- my thing. This is AU after season 7 and Carol and Daryl are hanging out at the Kingdom.   
> Written for the Caryl Secret Santa on Tumblr.

The realization hits Carol like a ton of bricks. Out of nowhere, knocking the breath out of her and leaving her dazed and confused. 

They’re not even doing anything particularly romantic. Nothing that would trigger such a sudden and world-changing realization. He didn’t ask her to a moonlit stroll through the one ornamental garden the Kingdom has. Nor did he invite her to a candlelit dinner (although most of their dinners are candlelit now). 

No, she realizes it sitting across from him stringing popcorn onto a string. A rotten floor in a house they were looting put them both out of commission for any real helpful work, but even with aching backs and bruises covering every inch of them, they can’t sit still. So they’re given light busy-work, which includes making popcorn garlands to cover the various real and fake trees the Kingdom has gathered. 

The Kingdom takes Christmas very seriously and it’s absolutely bizarre to Carol. She hasn’t even thought of trying to celebrate since the world went to hell and it’s not like they knew what the calendar month it was. But the Kingdom does. And they certainly don’t half-ass their Christmas celebrations. 

Daryl is huddled over his strand, applying the same diligent focus as he does to any task that is set before him. Carol looks up from her own half-strung garland, just to watch him. She loves to watch him get lost in his work. It’s one of the few times he’s completely unguarded. As she watches him work, she’s struck by the realization she is completely, desperately in love with him. 

She stops working, she’s so shocked. Carol has always held him in high regard and with more than a little affection. He is her best and dearest friend. But love? Real, romantic love? She always thought she was beyond that. Any ideas she held of romance and true love were obliterated by Ed. 

How does she even deal with this? Daryl has never shown her any indication he feels anything more than platonic affection. Or that he even wants anything more than her friendship. She can’t act on these feelings. They would ruin everything she holds dear. Carol would much rather pine than lose him completely. That is a fate worse than death.

“Ya okay?”

Daryl’s voice pulls her out of her reverie. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little sore.” 

It’s true and little isn’t even half of it. Falling through the floor into the basement left her with broken, or at the very least bruised, ribs. Every breath sends a sharp pain through her entire right side. It’s a better answer than admitting what she’s just realized though. 

“‘M sorry.” He hangs his head in shame. 

“It’s not your fault. How were you supposed to know that the floor would give out?”

“Shoulda tested it or somethin’ Sounded real bad when I stepped on it.”

“I’ll recover. I’ve had worse.” Aching ribs and bruising with decent medical attention is a hundred times better than what she got from Ed.

Daryl sets down his garland and stretches with a wince. “Gettin’ hungry. Ya wanna grab somethin’?” 

This is their nightly routine. Grab dinner and then hang out together. She loves it usually, loves spending time with him, but tonight, after her realization, she doesn’t think she can stand being that close with him. “I think I’m going to go lay down. My body’s putting all its energy into healing, I'm exhausted.”

“Oh… Okay. Uhhh, ya want me to grab ya anything?”

“No.” She watches his face fall and she tries to take the sting out of her rejection. “Thank you though. I appreciate it.” 

She leaves him and her half-finished garland behind, making her way to her room.

***

She’s been avoiding Daryl for the last few days. Needs space from him to try and order her thoughts and feelings so she doesn’t betray herself. She couldn’t stand the sting of rejection. Especially his rejection. 

So she throws herself headfirst into the Kingdom’s Christmas preparations, using it as an excuse to avoid spending time with Daryl. She can see the hurt in his eyes every time she makes an excuse, but her fear keeps her away. Can’t bear the thought of her silliness breaking their relationship.

She feels like she did back in Alexandria, when they first arrived. Hiding from Daryl because she couldn’t let him see how broken she was. How he’d read her in a second if she spent any time with him. Their separation strained them both emotionally and guilt churns her stomach. She doesn’t want to repeat those awful months. Not when she missed him terribly then and is beginning to miss him 

Finally, after a long day of hanging up swag that ignites the ache of her recent injuries, she pulls herself together-- _she’s an adult goddammit and this is not something to be afraid of_ \-- and seeks him out. Tries to form an apology without revealing the real reasons why she’s been avoiding him. 

She turns the corner into the main courtyard, and catches a glimpse of Daryl. Can’t help the wave of excitement and affection that rolls over her. She can feel a smile forming on her lips, until she sees what he’s doing.

And then her entire face crumbles.

He’s talking to one of the women from the Kingdom. And smiling and laughing with her. Daryl doesn’t do that with people, at least not people he’s uncomfortable around. And he’s very comfortable around her. 

Her entire chest hurts. 

Carol can’t even find it in herself to be mad. Sarah is wonderful and incredibly kind and sweet. The perfect type of person for Daryl. Carol shouldn’t feel like she’s lost something.

Daryl was never hers to begin with. 

Carol takes a deep, steadying breath and shoves all of her emotions down deep. She’s happy for him. He deserves someone who can make him happy and laugh and isn’t carrying an abusive marriage and dead child’s worth of emotional baggage. 

Someone better than her.

Even heartbroken she pushes forward, intent on trying to reconnect with Daryl. It isn’t like she hasn’t recovered from great disappointment before. 

Pastes a half-convincing smile once she nears him. He may be seeing someone, but that doesn’t mean Carol isn’t going to give up on their friendship. 

“You okay?”

Of course he sees right through her. “Just sore from hanging up all the swag. Don’t think I’m quite as recovered as I thought I was.”

Daryl’s brow furrows. “Gotta be careful. Don’t wantcha hurtin’ yerself.”

“I’m fine. I was wondering, do you want to eat together or…”

“Course I do.” Daryl wipes his hands on his pants. “Missed ya the last few nights.” 

“I did to,” she admits.

God, did she miss him. 

***

Christmas has arrived cold and clear and the entire Kingdom lost their collective mind. She hasn’t seen a group of people so excited for Christmas since she helped out in Sophia’s second-grade classroom. 

It’s a bittersweet day for Carol. She’s gotten caught up in the air of cheer and Christmas spirit that hangs around the Kingdom, but she can’t help but think of past Christmases. Ed was always on his best behavior and kept insults and general foulness to a minimum. Sophia was excited every year, hardly able to sleep the night before. It was her favorite holiday and Carol can’t separate it from her little girl. It will always be steeped in sadness and nostalgia for her.

Carol sits outside in one of the gazebos, spiced cider in hand. The last few jugs of cider from the apple harvest were hidden for today and Carol thinks it was worth it. There’s nothing more festive than a cup of spiced cider on a freezing day.

The only people not in the cafeteria properly celebrating are her and whoever is on guard duty. She can’t bring herself to participate but she doesn’t mind watching. 

“There ya are.” Daryl huffs as he walks up the stairs into the gazebo. “Been lookin’ for ya.”

“I’ve been here.” 

He gives her a lopsided smile and sits next to her, pulling a lumpy looking package out of his jacket. 

He shoves the messily wrapped package towards. “Got this for ya,” he mutters to the ground. 

She takes it out of his hands and holds it to her chest. “I didn’t get you anything,” she says, dismayed. They’ve never officially exchanged gifts before, never had a reason to. 

“Don’t gotta. Ya’ve already given me” He pauses, searching for a word “… a lot,” he mumbles out looking not quite at her.

She unwraps it gently, trying not to tear it open in her excitement and curiosity. Can’t remember the last time she received a wrapped present from someone. Sophia, she thinks, who gave her her earrings just a few months before the Turn. 

Inside the wrapping paper is a soft red wool sweater and light blue flannel pajama bottoms. It’s surprisingly… intimate.

“Why didn’t you give these to Sarah?” Carol asks, confused. 

“Why?” Daryl asks, looking slightly bewildered. 

“Aren’t you two… together?”

“What? No! I… uh… asked for her help with the bottoms. ‘Cause ya said all yers were gettin’ holes in ‘em and these were kinda too big. Can’t ask ya to fix yer own present, so I asked her for help.” 

“Oh…” Hearing that they aren’t together fills her with a sort of giddy happiness, “Thank you. I love them.”

Daryl smiles and they sit in companionable silence until something catch’s Carol’s eye.

“Oh…” Daryl looks over at her and follows her gaze up where a bunch of mistletoe hangs jovially from the rafters. 

“The fuck they’d find that?” Daryl asks.

Carol lets out a surprised laugh. “It’s a parasitic plant, isn’t it? Probably around in some tree somewhere.”

“Don’t half-ass this shit do they?”

“They take Christmas very seriously here.” Carol stops and can’t help but wonder if she’s going to go to far. “It’s considered bad luck if you don’t kiss.”

Daryl eyes her and then says, “Don’t wanna get bad luck. Not in this climate.”

He leans over as her heartbeat speeds up and her breath quickens. Daryl presses the softest kiss against her lips. It’s momentary and light as a feather, but, _holy shit_ , it happened.

“Merry Christmas,” Carol half-whispers as she leans into his shoulder. 

Daryl presses a kiss against the top of her head and rests his head against hers. 

“Merry Christmas”

Thank you for reading! And Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! And Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you!


End file.
